Like any girl, I always dreamed of getting married, having lots of children and living in a cute house with a white picket fence. I wanted to live the dream of any little girl. And to some extent I have.
I got married young, had three beautiful kids and a house I’m proud of. But no-one talks about the sacrifices and work it takes to keep a marriage alive.
Today, I want to talk about why I’ve come to realize that my first priority in life is to fulfill my marriage. To be the wife I vowed to be so many years ago. It’s funny how women get so wrapped up in ‘the wedding’ that they forget there’s actually a marriage afterwards. I was guilty of this.
I had a very beautiful wedding, which took 10 months to plan. It was truly one of the most wonderful days of my life. However, I don’t think I put as much effort into what marriage was going to look like for my husband and I. We were both living at home with our parents the day before we got married and from there forward we had to navigate the unchartered waters of matrimony.
The first year was tough. We had a new puppy and we were getting used to each others quirks. We persevered and things started to iron out and run smoothly. Then we got pregnant! Yes, kids change everything; for the good but also for the unexpected. I think we both had ‘baby blues’ when our son was born. Me, because of my hormones and my husband because he realized his life was about to change drastically.
As time passed, we welcomed two more additions. Our house was full! Three children 4 yrs and younger, a dog, a fish and later a bird. Life was chaotic. And somewhere along the way we got lost… We got lost in the diapers and spit up, sleepless nights and runny noses. Our life was consumed with our children and we forgot to take care of “us”. I know this is all too common for many couples. When you’d rather put on your oversized t-shirt and crawl into bed than cuddle beside your spouse. Life with kids can steer you clear away from each other.
Thankfully, we woke up and realized that we missed each other. We missed those times of togetherness and connection. We longed for the soft caresses and exchanges of whispered sweet nothings. We remembered that it all started with just the two of us. We started this legacy of love and a bond that no-one or nothing can separate. We realized that at the end of the day after the children have grown up and left the nest, it’s just us left behind. It goes back to the beginning.
Marriage is a sacred vow that we promise to one another. And if we are blessed to be called to the sacrament of marriage, it is our duty to tend to our spouse and nurture the relationship.
There are many ways to nurture your marriage:
~Go on regular date night ALONE (once a week preferably)
~Show affection…hold hands, kiss, hug, massage
~Have good discussions about life, current events, kids…
~Fight fair…have healthy arguments with no name calling or maliciousness
~Put each other first…marriage is about selflessness
~Take care of yourself…put on make-up, dress nice…
~Find a hobby to do together…running, tennis, bowling…
~Spend lots of time together, even if it’s gardening or watching tv
~Always be each others cheerleader in life
~Take an interest in each others’ lives whether that be work or passions
~Kiss each other when you greet each other or go to bed…so powerful
~Do little acts of kindness for each other…empty the dishwasher, make a coffee in the morning, put a note in their lunch
~Say words of affirmation…I love you, I’m sorry, Thinking of you…
These are just a few ways to show your love for one another. I’m positive there are much, much more.
I’m so grateful that God brought my husband into my life. He is my true soul mate. I want nothing but a lifetime of love, health and happiness with him. How blessed am I…